is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize