Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize