You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
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All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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