watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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