I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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