end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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