bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize