love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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