We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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