You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I have post one night stand depression
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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