you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
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Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
dude. I can hear the air.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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