fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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