It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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