my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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