I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize