you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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