Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize