the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize