I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize