the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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