Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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