don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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