I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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