So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize