just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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