I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize