my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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