I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
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At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
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Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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