do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize