I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im holly from the hills drunk
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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