Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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