dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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