Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
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I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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