Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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