you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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