Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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