Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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