come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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