You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize