just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize