She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
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I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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