Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize