You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
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It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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