Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
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I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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