Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
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No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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