whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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