Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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