your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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