Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize