so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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